The coffin shoes

I bought these shoes on Amazon a few years ago but never used them – they were too big. Now you are using them. Will you wear these trainers in your coffin? Is this the last pair of shoes in your life? Do you ever think about it? Sorry for being brutal but have you chosen your coffin shoes? You said you never wanted to be cremated and wanted to be buried. You clearly need coffin shoes. My great grandmother started thinking about her coffin outfit in her 80s. It’s so sad you have to do it in your 40s.

Lapsang souchong

It’s got a very distinct taste and smell. Not everyone likes it. When you introduced it to me I never believed I could drink it regularly. I can’t say that I do, but I definitely always have it at home. I’ve copied you. You don’t drink it regularly but it’s always there when you want it. Today you said you are now very tired with life and at 89 you want to die. What a brave decision. I guess at this age this sort of decisions come easier. The smell of Lapsang Souchong will always remind me of you.

How do you want to be buried?

Do you want to be cremated? We could offer you medicine. It extends life by three months. It’s your decision. Is it life or suffering that is being extended? You need to think about your will. Do you need one? Take your time, but you’ll also need to inform your mother, children and your ex-wife. You won’t be able to work anymore. Do you have a place to stay? You’ll need to have someone to look after you. Please make sure you make plans for it. Get in touch with Motor Neuron Disease Association. They will help you!

My life is not good

I’m old. I’m tired. I’m not feeling well. My hearing is terrible. I can’t watch tv or make phone calls. I can’t read for more than 30 minutes. Most of the time I sleep while sitting on the sofa. I’m slow. Everything is taking me ages. I’m so sorry about it. I never wanted to trouble you. I’ve got so many questions. I’m concerned about my memory. I forget things. All the time. Did I say that I’m old? Life is no good. I’m too old now. I want to die. I’m ready to die.

The day Karl Lagerfeld died

All the newspapers were shouting that Karl Lagerfeld died. We started the day with a quick breakfast – some porridge with fruit and honey. My two years old daughter had chickenpox so we took her to see the doctor. Then we went for a walk on a boulevard full of shops and restaurants along the beach. I could hear Maria Magdalena by Sandra. It always surprises me that people visit this kind of shops selling Chinese versions of branded clothes and massively overpriced rubbish NOT needed for the beach. I wonder if Karl ever thought about that?